“Not that” is a powerful start


Something I have heard many times from prospective clients goes something like that:

“I don’t know exactly what it is that I want, but I know I don’t want that anymore.”

Oftentimes, they go on by saying that they’re not sure they can start coaching until they have more clarity on their goals and aspirations.

I was one of those prospective clients too,  before I timidly approached a coach I deeply respected and admired. I felt neither clear nor “ready”. But I had reached a point where I did know what I didn’t want anymore.

Uncovering your “not thats”

Being clear on what you no longer want to put up with is a powerful starting point.

Simple yet powerful questions can bring so much perspective and clarity to the messiest of minds. It can feel like the most satisfying Marie Kondo-style spring clean. Everything starts to fall into place. And just like dear Marie, you get to hold ideas, beliefs and unhelpful habits and say “thanks but no thanks”.

In my first session with a client, I ask questions. A lot of questions. I used to send an in-depth questionnaire they had to fill in before our first session, but I have found that a lot of my clients (like me) are sensitive, deep thinkers who feel the full range of their emotions in HD, which can make going through this process by yourself a little intimidating.

Now I invite them to slowly get used to the temperature by dipping their toes into the coaching process while I hold compassionate, non-judging space for them and get to know them more intimately.

Because when you seek coaching for the very first time as an introverted, sensitive spirit, being asked what you really want can feel like being proposed to on a first date. Too much too soon.

Establishing trust and safety in the coaching relationship cannot be rushed.

And when you sign up for a set number of coaching sessions at a high price, you can sometimes unconsciously put pressure on yourselves to make the most of your time and investment and rush through this foundational step in the coaching relationship.

That is why I decided to lower my session price significantly and to forego coaching packages, not because I don’t value my work or have “money blocks”, but because I truly believe my clients deserve to have full autonomy over the shape of their coaching journey.

And interestingly enough, I came to this decision by feeling a very strong sense of “I don’t want that” while reimagining what my coaching practice would look and feel like.

So why not ask yourself. What is one thing in your life or work you know you don’t want?

It’s a deceivingly simple, yet powerful way to start.

Wanna chat over tea?

If you’re curious about coaching with moi, you can book a no obligation, complimentary chat of 15 min to ask me any burning questions you might have and chat about what you’re hoping to get out of coaching.

We’ll connect via Zoom on the day and you can just imagine we’re sitting at an understated – yet trendy – Parisian café in Le Marais while we dive into your hopes and dreams (croissants and cat not included).

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